The Adventures of Fluffy Truman the Rabbit
by the one who breathes nitrogen
Summary: Fluffy Truman wishes you a good day and that by reading his story you can be elevated to a highter place. On his adventures he meets random people from Harry Potter, and some that aren't, Full summery inside. Please read, and review! Crackfic.
1. A HORRIBLE PUDDING

"**BUT IT'S A BAD WORD!"**

**Rosie (the self proclaimed most awesome person in the world) helped me write this story. A lot. This was her idea. Cough-blame her-cough… Sorry. I caught a cold.**

**Full summery: Fluffy Truman is a toothless half bald rabbit, so intelligent that he can tie his own shoelaces- and other people's as well! What of Fluffy Truman you ask? This is the story where a certain sort of famous wizard, a nose less clown, and a tennis shoe without laces meets Fluffy Truman. Of course, with meeting Fluffy Truman, they are all (the wizard, clown, and clearance shelf reject) elevated to a higher existence. We just hope this can happen to you too.**

Fluffy Truman, a misunderstood, half-bald, toothless rabbit stood- or really sat- outside in the rain. Poor Fluffy Truman. (At this point we feel we need to inform you that yes, we feel the need to call him Fluffy Truman rather than just Fluffy. Or Truman. Live with it suckers! We control this! Even if it is the last thing we do, no one may ever call Fluffy Truman just Fluffy! It just ruins his self-awareness therapy!)

Fluffy Truman was wallowing in his own self pitty, he had come all the way from Paris on the back of a motorboat sales man's car. Or maybe on the back of the motorboat sales man, he wasn't really sure. But what he was sure of, was that either the car- or the salesman- smelled. Like fish. Maybe the sales man was from- no; let's not go there.

He scratched his head. He had left Paris after the huge scandal where the press had found out about his baldness. He knew that he couldn't hide under the pink hair suit, and its warranty had long worn off. Stupid "It'll look natural!" tag. Of course, he still thought bunny suits were cruel.

Fluffy Truman suddenly saw his chance to escape from his self-pity. As he sat on the sidewalk in the rain, he saw a cloaked figure appear through the mist. He heard the figure speaking to something- maybe talking to itself.

"No! This will not do! I need all of my photographs by this Sunday! My adoring fans will not wait to see all of magical me!"

Fluffy Truman only then saw his face! EWMYGOUD! He was, like, a freaking god! Holy crap! When had Privet Drive become Mount Olympus? What kind of name was Olympus? Forget Olympus, what kind of name was Privet? What does "Drive" mean anyway? … Let's move on…

Fluffy Truman was amazed by his luck. Fluffy Truman leaped out onto the middle of the sidewalk into the god-man's path. The cloaked figure walked along talking to himself until his came to the place where Fluffy Truman stood.

"Hello little bunny!!!!" the figure said to Fluffy Truman. Fluffy Truman almost fainted in delight! The god-man had spoken to him- Fluffy Truman- in person! "Awww! Look at the cute little bunny! Do you want a signed photograph too?" The man looked at Fluffy Truman in a way as if he expected him to talk back- so Fluffy Truman did.

"Pardon me sir- but aren't signed photos rather fattening? I'm on a diet and I would just like to know how many fat calories are in a "signed photo". Weight watchers have been helping me loose weight and it has been working out so well! I can't stop now!" Fluffy Truman informed him.

"Silly rabbit!" the cloaked man replied- not at all bothered by the fact that a rabbit had just spoken to him. "Tricks are for kids!" This statement made Fluffy Truman very confused.

"No, my name isn't tricks," Fluffy Truman told the man. "My name is Fluffy Truman!"

The cloaked man wasn't a very good listener. It appeared that all he had heard was "I can't stop now!" And then decided to respond to that statement.

"I'm sorry about your marijuana problem. Do you want a signed photo?"

Fluffy Truman was aghast. "MARIJUANA IS A BAD WORD!" he yelled, and fainted to the ground in a puff of imaginary smoke.

**So thanks for reading! This is rated T because we felt like it. We being Rosie and I. I being me. Me being the Person who's name is at the top. In blue letters. It's NOT THAT HARD PEOPLE! Anyway, please review!!!! Rosie lovesssssss reviews!!! Shut up, computer, it's not that many S's. Jeez. You over react. To much. Anyway Fluffy Truman will be returning in a second chapter. Soon-ish. So stay tuned!......**

… **That's all folks. You don't have to keep reading…..**

**Why are you still reading when you could be reviewing? **

**EWMYGOUD, ROSIE, WE HAVE STALKERS! **_**They're not stalkers! They just love me!**_** Here we go… again. Sure they love you… **_**Of course they do! Who doesn't?!**_

_***Rosie **_***Evon**

**Yes, that's actually her typing. She's , like, sitting by me while junkies play video games behind us! QUIET, YOU YOUNG WHIPPERSNAPPERS! **_**Don't mind Evon…. she hasn't had her medicine today…. Let's go now Evon….**_** But I haven't believed in anything other than Tylenol for anything that involves taking medicine. Which I hardly support at all. Medicine= eww.**

_**Now they think that I have friends who are Tylenol junkies. Great.**_

**You're Welcome. Review! And Fluffy Truman will return!**


	2. EVONGREEN07 NO MORE

Hey! If you're wondering who the hell this is, hopefully you remember the story! I changed my penname because I like this new one better. So I hope everyone still recognizes me. Oh…well.

Working on a chapter for 'Favorite decade' and as for fluffy Truman… well, I don't know that anything's ever gonna happen. Maybe Fluffy Truman will meet that nose less clown (although I have already described him vividly to a friend.. he looks like that dude from Dark Knight. Yikes.

In case you didn't notice, my old penname was evongreen07. NO LONGER! But I'm still evon.

Love,

The one who breathes nitrogen

(previously evongreen07)

Ne. Ne. Ne. NE!

Just kidding.

I'm on house arrest. Seventh snow day. We're going into June. God save the queen.


	3. A VERY EVIL PUDDING

**A Very Evil Pudding.**

**As second chapters go, this is in fact a very good one. Maybe… Sort of…but of course- Fluffy Truman believes it is a shocker of a chapter. Fluffy Truman, of course, will always manage to bring you into a higher existence. So, Enjoy!**

As Fluffy Truman emerged from his imaginary cloud of smoke- he saw a light shining through all the darkness. A single face appeared looking down at him with a mystical and beautiful nose. It was crafted as an angel's nose would be crafted. It was not unlike Michael Jackson's wonderful snoz, as it almost fell off in the heat of the day.

"What-" Fluffy Truman exclaimed in wonder. "EWMYGOUD!" he then yelled. "I MUST BE DEAD!" He then put two and two together, and yelled to no one in particular, "EWMYGOUD! IT'S AN ANGEL!"

The angel-man spoke, his voice like melted toothpaste.

"Oh my little bunny-marijuana-smoking-friend!" he laughed rather non-unpretentiously. "Do you still want a signed photo?"

With that sentence, Fluffy Truman was catapulted back to a world of pink bunny suits and funny smelling motorboat sales-men.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fluffy Truman yelled in pure agony. "NOOOOO!" He then repeated his early statement. Then he yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Repeating, "NOOOOOOOOOOO," over and over again just seemed like the right thing to do at the moment. So he did it again.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"ARE YOU OK?" the angel man asked, frightened by this sudden outbreak of two letter words. You see the biggest word he knew well was "yes," so this was hard to interpret. Then Fluffy Truman decided the best way to make the man stop talking was to scream again.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"he began to say but then began to feel enlightened because an amazing sight became visible just behind the god-man's shoulder. "Ewmygoud…" he gasped in awe. For there standing in the smoke that he had so recently fainted in, was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. His face was round like a Rubik Cube, but also square- like a banana. His nose was as red as Rudolf's (Point of reference: Rudolf the red nosed reindeer had a VERY shiny nose and if YOU ever SAW it- you would ever say it GLOWED. Then again, you may also think you were on LSD) The man was wearing as much makeup as a cheap 40-year-old hooker, with bright red blush and cherry red lipstick, this covered foundation two shades too light. He wore a considerable amount of body glitter for a man who was neither a vampire, nor a stripper, nor Justin Beiber. But wait! The man's glorious nose was sadly, suddenly, gruesomely gone!

Where his nose should have been was a mass of ripped, infected flesh of a gruesome wound- one that had cost the man a prominent feature. You could see the tendons and cartilage beneath his face, and even the evidence of the deepest of cuts, the white of a bone that has been exposed to the elements. Tiny bits of flesh were separated from the rest of his face, left there from his enraged attacker. Whoever had attacked him had done so in anger, and he had not really allowed the wound to heal. Small scabs had begun to form, and there was evidence that suggested that he had itched and pulled at theses scabs, perhaps dreaming that he was somehow getting back at his attacker in the dead of night, as he often did.

Fluffy Truman noticed, in a state of horror, that this once beautiful man was in fact- someone he had once known. IT WAS PUTRID THE CLOWN! A LONG LOST BROTHER OF HIS CULT! (Point of reference: Fluffy Truman was in fact real brother with a human clown. It's a messy family history, but his father… was weird. Coincidently, he also had a beard. So from this point on Weirdo with a Beardo as he will now be called is Fluffy Truman's father. Not that either of them knew that they were brothers, or that they even HAD a father. Anyway.)

The clown was very ugly. AND beautiful.

"!" Fluffy Truman exclaimed.

"I didn't even ask you my question yet," said the God-man.

Fluffy Truman and the clown were confused.

"Would you and the frightening clown like to go to the dentist with me!" Gilderoy asked hopefully, his nose swinging on its hinges as he jumped up and down in the air, clapping his hands.

"MY NAME IS PUTRID THE CLOWN," the clown finally spoke. "OR BACK IN MY HOMETOWN, THEY CALL ME _Payaso que asusta a muchos niños cuando se entra en una habitación._"

Both rabbit and man stared in awe of _Payaso que asusta a muchos niños cuando se entra en una habitación. _He was so smart.

"You're mean. YOU TAKING AWAY MY TALKING TIME WITH THE DENTIST WITH YOUR NAME! MEANIER! ARE YOU COMING OR NOT SCARY MAN AND TRICKS THE RABBIT?" The god man screeched.

"That's a very evil pudding!" Fluffy Truman plotted. "AND BY PUDDING I MEAN QUESTION!" he explained.

He turned, grabbed the clown, and ran away.

** We did not delete the author's note because we felt it would put you into epelectic shock. Too much Fluffy Truman in one dose can do that to a person. We also know why this is rated "T" now. Because we said, out loud, Justin Bieber's name. OH NO! I SAID IT AGAIN! AHHHHHHHH…. ANYWAY, review if you have questions, didn't understand the plot, or have any unusual crack dreams. Or have a comment. Like normal people. We thank you for your time.**


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